Monday, September 20, 2010

New Beginnings

The Road I Must Take

I want to transcend to a higher dimension so I am bidding my old spirit farewell. We've been  together for so long and I know it will be hard to leave you behind. I know it will still be a long blogging journey for me but now we have to part our ways. I don't want my blog to be a remnant of my foolishness; I want it to be a prize I can be proud of. So please forgive me.

The Work I Must Do

I regret to have blogged for the sake of readership. I tried to please people and I thought that was alright but that is a problem now; I no longer blog to express my feelings as much as I would love to and that defeats the purpose of why I write. I write because I want to express what I feel through the art of letter. I should always remember what's essential to my life- passion. Isn't what someone feels about what they're doing more important than the end result?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

LRT and the Pocketful of Fat Swines

No, LRT is not a new chronicle like Harry Potter. LRT is the congregation of massive trains atop the giant pillar-supported railways in the middle of our highways. We ALL know how LRT operates so there's your brief introduction.

LRT is supposed to be the answer to our transportation troubles. It's fast and should cut several minutes off our commute periods. It's partially subsidized by the government therefore it is very economical especially if you're travelling long distances. It's... crowded!!! One of the biggest thing anybody should try to understand that LRT is very popular for commuters thus, it is usually crammed with lots of people and with a special consideration when it is a rush hour.

However, some people miraculously overlook this common super hardcore fact and on one busy morning (when people were almost literally ass cheek-to-cheek), two of them happened to have fallen in line at a ticket vending machine behind me. As I had flipped my bag to my side to get some coins, my bag hit the people behind me. Well I guess nobody minds a small thing like that. Oh please, there is a slim chance that my bag wouldn't hit anybody anyway.

Afterwards, two people (two fugly bitches) suddenly outraged about being hit with my bag and sermoned me out loud to watch where my bag is going. To my disappointment I immediately rebutted with an eye-opener that it is crowded and that things like that happen because it is a public place. But you know what? These fuglies just won't give it up and refuted that "I better be careful." Quickly sensing a threat, I asked them what their problem is, and just as stupid as they were before, told me that their problem is me and my bag. Not being able to control my anger anymore, I yelled at them and said that: "If the two of you  weren't that fat and occupying that much space, I wouldn't have hit you in the first place so shut the fuck up!" They were clearly outraged and with disdain, they desperately appealed to the onlookers and screamed that I was a fag for taking them on. After their consolatory groundless remarks, I just thought that I ought to leave them a little remembrance and left with my extra special giant middle finger stuck in the air. Boom Boom Pow! (Pahiram ng expression, Love)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Pope Benedict XVI, No Special Treatment!

Pope Benedict XVI finds police raids of several buildings in Leuven, Belgium, "Deplorable" over concerns of alleged "abuse of minors committed by a certain number of Church figures."

"I want to express, dear brother in the Episcopate, as well as to all the Bishops of Belgium, my closeness and solidarity in this moment of sadness, in which, with certain surprising and deplorable methods, searches were carried out."

"I hope that justice will follow its course while guaranteeing the rights of individuals and institutions, respecting the rights of victims, (and) acknowledging those who undertake to collaborate with it," Pope Benedict said in support to Brussels Archbishop Andre Joseph Leonard.

However Belgium's defense minister, Stefaan De Clerck, defended the police actions saying that the bishops were treated normally during the raid on the archdiocese and denied accusations that the bishops were deprived of food and drinks.

Do you know what I find deplorable? It's defending child molesters since molestations by the clergy is not new to the public. I don't get it why the Pope needs to be defensive. We are very much aware of it, and this kind of reaction from the Church won't calm public scrutiny. The children's safety should always be the only concern on everybody's mind, including the Church. The Pope should have just let justice take its course because nobody is above the Law. 

"The world moves according to God's plans." - Who hasn't heard this fundamentalist cliché yet? Now tell me if these child abuses are still part of that plan. Well the Pope's defense is a part of that plan. How about the victims of that plan who happen to be minors as young as FOUR? Another part of the plan? However, I still don't see why anyone should blame God for the Church's screw-up. 

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Have you ever wondered if you can get hired as a GRO? This is the most common pub we see at establishments:

  • Must be 25 yrs old and below
  • At least 5'6''
  • Good-looking
  • With a good and pleasing personality
So do you think you have what it takes to be a GRO? But I retort that much more is needed to be one. Here are the qualifications that is missing in the pub:
  • Shameless
  • Extremely obedient and Customer-oriented
  • Energetic 
  • Extra-durable genitalia
Most of the girls may already be sighing at this moment. Most will probably say: "Heck, why be a GRO in the first place?" Well let me give you top three reasons why you should be a GRO:
  1. Money talks
  2. You have the perfect excuse for being trashy and skanky
  3. Work while having fun

Friday, September 10, 2010

0 Would you Wanna Wear This?

Sometimes truths are unbearable...
sometimes they are oblivious...
sometimes they are just funny...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Fat Girls, Beware of the Sea

Now this is what we call a punchline.

A 28-year-old Serbian woman was seriously injured in the Montenegrin seaside town of Budva yesterday when a local diver shot her with a harpoon.

The woman, identified as Maja Georgi from the town of Pančevo, was swimming some 20 meters from the shore when the harpoon pierced her left shoulder, in what local media described as an accident.

Georgi underwent complicated surgery in the nearby town of Kotor, said reports, and her condition is now stable and non-life threatening. 

The man who shot the harpoon was identified as Milan Lalović. He was questioned by local police and released, said reports. 

Podgorica's Vijesti newspaper quotes eyewitnesses who said the man injured the tourist accidentally, and immediately tried to help her.

this sick news is brought to you by, kmahinay, a deluded woman who claims she looks like a mermaid. meh. more like a dugong.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Not Another Vocabulary Session

Loveshack (lʌv-ʃæk)

1. A badass with a huge penis. He owns everyone he encounters and anyone who knows his name. Dont mess with this player.

"You say I'm a loveshack? Thank you."

2. A place where a bunch of losers take their ugly ass girlfriends to make out, mostly found in backyards near a forest if not in one.

"Why does your loveshack need to be 15 kilometers away??"

Monday, September 6, 2010

Conditional Superpowers

Imagined you were something supernatural? Well dig in!

1. Teleportation
  • teleportation, type a: you can never use it when you need it
  • teleportation, type b: you can only teleport to a single place (which is Smokey Mountain) and you become trapped there for three years naked
  • teleportation, type c: you can teleport but you'll go back immediately to the place you where before in 2 seconds and you can never use it to avoid getting hurt in general
  • teleportation, type d: you can only teleport to any place you wish if and only if you stop your heart for 3 whole minutes -no more, no less 
2. Morph
  • morph, type a: you can morph into anyone anytime anywhere but for the duration of your morph, your genitals will be on your forehead
  • morph, type b: you can morph only when you are dancing "nobody,nobody," if you stop dancing, you revert back to your previous self
  • morph, type c: you can morph but you become blind and invisible almost istantaneously at the same time you morph. you gain vision and substance when you turn back to your old self
  • morph, type d: you can morph but while in morphed form, you age 100 times faster than a normal human 
3. Laser beam
  • beam, type a: your laser beam can only damage anything that is a part of your body excluding fingerprints
  • beam, type b: you can shoot laser beams out of your fingers if you spill 100% concentrated HCl onto your fingers. You can fire the lasers as long as you have your fingers
  • beam, type c: it only triggers when you sleep 
4: Linguistics
  • linguistics, type a: you can only talk to an animal that is 1,000,000,000 kilometers away from you and any telecommunication device you touch explodes on sight and contact
  • linguistics, type b: you know all of the scripts and language of the world. but you become deaf and mute... and oh, paralyzed

Sunday, September 5, 2010

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way: The “Well Look at Me Now Story”

There was a time when I used to laugh at cripples…

Well look at me now, I accidentally tumbled down a spiral stairs and cut my thigh almost halfway, now I don’t think I’ll be able to walk again the way I used to.

When I was a kid, I bullied a friend about her early onset acne…

Well look at me now, I know exactly how she felt when I harassed her and I doubt I’ll ever forget that feeling for a very long time.

I used to be arrogant when dealing with people who can afford less…

Well look at me now, I’m old and I can’t find a good job. I’m not only becoming poor in the pocket but poorer in spirit as well.

I have been a terrible son – I lied to and mocked my parents…

Well look at me now, I thought I don’t need them as much anymore, but when the world turned its back on me, they were there for me and I felt guilty.
New BeginningsLRT and the Pocketful of Fat SwinesPope Benedict XVI, No Special Treatment!WANTED GROWould you Wanna Wear This?Fat Girls, Beware of the SeaNot Another Vocabulary SessionConditional SuperpowersA Lesson Learned the Hard Way: The “Well Look at Me Now Story” ~ SHOCKING TRUTHS