Conditional Superpowers

Imagined you were something supernatural? Well dig in!

1. Teleportation

• teleportation, type a: you can never use it when you need it
• teleportation, type b: you can only teleport to a single place (which is Smokey Mountain) and you become trapped there for three years naked
• teleportation, type c: you can teleport but you'll go back immediately to the place you where before in 2 seconds and you can never use it to avoid getting hurt in general
• teleportation, type d: you can only teleport to any place you wish if and only if you stop your heart for 3 whole minutes -no more, no less 

2. Morph

• morph, type a: you can morph into anyone anytime anywhere but for the duration of your morph, your genitals will be on your forehead
• morph, type b: you can morph only when you are dancing "nobody,nobody," if you stop dancing, you revert back to your previous self
• morph, type c: you can morph but you become blind and invisible almost istantaneously at the same time you morph. you gain vision and substance when you turn back to your old self
• morph, type d: you can morph but while in morphed form, you age 100 times faster than a normal human 

3. Laser beam

• beam, type a: your laser beam can only damage anything that is a part of your body excluding fingerprints
• beam, type b: you can shoot laser beams out of your fingers if you spill 100% concentrated HCl onto your fingers. You can fire the lasers as long as you have your fingers
• beam, type c: it only triggers when you sleep 

4: Linguistics

• linguistics, type a: you can only talk to an animal that is 1,000,000,000 kilometers away from you and any telecommunication device you touch explodes on sight and contact
• linguistics, type b: you know all of the scripts and language of the world. but you become deaf and mute... and oh, paralyzed

A Lesson Learned the Hard Way: The “Well Look at Me Now Story”

There was a time when I used to laugh at cripples…

Well look at me now, I accidentally tumbled down a spiral stairs and cut my thigh almost halfway, now I don’t think I’ll be able to walk again the way I used to.

When I was a kid, I bullied a friend about her early onset acne…

Well look at me now, I know exactly how she felt when I harassed her and I doubt I’ll ever forget that feeling for a very long time.

I used to be arrogant when dealing with people who can afford less…

Well look at me now, I’m old and I can’t find a good job. I’m not only becoming poor in the pocket but poorer in spirit as well.

I have been a terrible son – I lied to and mocked my parents…

Well look at me now, I thought I don’t need them as much anymore, but when the world turned its back on me, they were there for me and I felt guilty.